songs of experience

Track & Field Olympian, Joan Nesbit Mabe, waxes philosophical... and sometimes wanes.

7/25/2008

detachment parenting

Filed under: — Joan @ 7:43 am

Dave dropped this in my lap this morning: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121695015234783463.html?mod=2_1578_topbox
knowing it would get my blood boiling.

To me, the kernel of truth is this quote: “I do it to detach.”

hmmmmm?

Yesterday, I was recalling a friend of mine (who ended up dying of a brain tumor in his 30’s) that a few years before he died he fell in love with a little three-year old boy named Til. My friend was a gay man who never planned to have children, but his best (girl) friend had a little boy he adored. Well, this friend, Andreas, took to collecting little treats (toys and penny candy and such) to carry around in his pockets, so when he saw Til he’d have a treasure to pull out of his pocket - presto! Now, I tell you this story because I am thinking of “Iron Mom” … whose pockets were stuffed with notes from her mother … yet, YET, she didn’t even think of what her own daughter needed/wanted/deserved from her. IRON mom, indeed. I do it to detach.

thoughts?

7/23/2008

Dave Beats Joan in Upwords

Filed under: — Dave @ 7:30 am

I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to post on this blog since I’m not in See Jane Run (and I don’t even have female genitalia), but I really felt the need to post this. I just wanted to let the world know that I beat Joan in Upwords (our favorite word game) last night fair and square. This is definitely newsworthy so I thought I’d share.

That is all.

upwords game

7/22/2008

Stage Mama?

Filed under: — Sage @ 1:28 pm

I try very hard not to look like an exercise addict (working out in three sports, that can be tough), and I also fear seeming like a stage mother. So I smiled, then cringed under the surface of the pool when I saw Virginia—with whom I’d run six miles earlier that day—watching me swim laps with my seven-year-old, Lily. The 500-yard workout was Lily’s idea, but I probably planted the seed of it when I let her choose between staying at the nursery while I swam in the inside pool or instead hitting the outside pool to swim together.

It got me thinking about self-perception. I suppose Virginia just thought, “Oh, there she is playing with her kid,” but I felt that I must appear to be a monster, or at least a task master. Which is right? How seriously should we take our own self-images? They must form around a kernel of truth, pearls around sand.

And does it make it worse that Lily and I rode our bikes to the pool?

7/20/2008

Back in business!

Filed under: — Joan @ 11:41 am

*

Hooray! Songs of Experience is making a comeback … with a little help from my friends.

Beginning soon, SoE will be a group blog for my seejanerun running group of moms.
Each Jane will have a username, password, and editing privileges so the running/mothering conversation will go out in 25 different directions like spokes on a wheel.
I can’t wait to see what comes of opening this blog up to a collective.

Mama Birdsongs of Experience, here we come!

mama bird

Powered by WordPress