songs of experience

I usually end my seejanerun seasons with some poem or carefully selected reading. This fall I chose to send out a list of my favorite goal-race memories. Formal reflection really does help with closure (I don’t like that word, but it suits). Think of graduation speechs and epitaphs and good-bye notes - all ways to express what poet, Emily Dickinson, calls that “formal feeling.”

Good Morning, Janes -

My Lizzie’s kindergarten teacher often tells the kids to raise their hands and then reach behind and pat themselves on the back. She tells them to say, “Good job, Me!” So, dear Janes, that’s what I want to say to all of you. We had such a powerful showing on Saturday out on the trail - both running and cheering - and afterward under the awards tent that I am still saturated with pride and happiness this morning … two full days later. However, I am also a bit sad that the season’s over - seemingly so quickly - and when Kelly MP called this morning to ask, “How are you doing?” I could only mutter, “uhhh, okay, a little glum” because it was 9:00am and I wasn’t rushing around to get out the door in time for our 9:30 Monday practice. I am content to begin a well-deserved break, but it feels sort of weird.

Do any of the rest of you feel weird today?

Maybe it will help if we all write in to the list with some of our favorite impressions from the race week-end. I’ll go first! (don’t get your hopes up; this will be no Letterman Top Ten list)

1.) Julee striding up the hill to finish as the #2 Jane. When I high-fived her and said, “You are one tough old b____!” I hadn’t yet seen that she was without ONE SHOE! Tougher than tough, you are a running Goddess, Julee.

2.) Susan’s pom pons. When Susan told me she’d be at the race with her pom pons I thought she was speaking metaphorically, as in “I’ll be there with bells on,” but she actually - literally - had shiny, cheerleader’s pom pons to cheer us on! Thank you, Susan!

3.) Kelly’s glowing face and truly STONED demeanor after she came out of her “stone” massage at the spa [where we went after our goal race]. You were doubly glowing, Kelly … from taking pain and pleasure in one day.

4.) All of our cobalt blue seejanerun shirts! Thanks, Terri, for making that happen this season.

5.) Anne’s joyful face - looking like a kid racing across the playground during recess when she finished - and knowing we’re never too old to be doing this. Never.

6.) My own child-like pleasure as I raced like a maniac with absurd SPIKES (who do I think I am?!) over slippery rocks and mud. Making Randy laugh over wine at the cabin when I confessed my frustration at having to pass all those “pesky 14-milers” - heh heh.

7.) Afterward, hearing everyone say, “I loved this race!” when I’ve picked a couple of loser races in the past fall seasons.

8.) Karen NOT MISSING A GOAL RACE! You kept your skinny butt in shape at the gym despite what should have been a season-ending injury. You also had the cutest running outfit. The black tee looked great under the singlet.

9.) Liz adding her final artistic tough to the “GO seejanerun!” van. It needed your blessing, Liz.

10.) All of us, under the tent, at the table having soup and crackers and just being together, relaxed and happy like a good family.

I could go on, but I want so save some for the rest of you.

Thank you, friends, for yet another memorable season.

After great pain, a formal feeling comes–
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs–
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round–
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought–
A Wooden way
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone–

This is the Hour of Lead–
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons recollect the Snow–
First–Chill–then Stupor–then the letting go–

- Emily Dickinson (1862)