songs of experience

All right, people, my pity party ends today. I coach three groups of runners whose autumn season begins this week, so I need to stop wallowing in my narcissistic quagmire. I do appreciate you few commenters - you few, you happy few - who tried to lift my spirits during this sad, fumbling time in my life … as well as those of you who contacted me, directly, off-line (Paula, Kelly, Wendell, etc.). My “crisis” is one part empty nest, one part mid-life, and one part, “Holy crap! What do I do now?”

The good therapy Eric writes of has helped. I even tried his chocolate cure; last night, I polished off a king-sized Hershey bar while watching junk TV (if you must know, it was Wife Swap; Dave and I joke about some out-of-shape couple switching lives with us - all that running they’d have to do, god!). But enough is enough. I’m ready to get back to work.

And work, for me, right now is coaching. I often wonder how my “little space” as a coach can make a difference in anyone’s life. But then I remember MY highschool coach and how he completely changed my life - how he changed me - and I believe what Guy de Maupassant says in The Necklace:

“How singular life is, how changeable! What a little thing it takes to save you or to lose you.”

It would take several posts to catalogue all the ways Coach McAfee (from East Mecklenburg high school in Charlotte, NC - go eagles!!) changed, helped, encouraged, pushed, inspired, saved, loved me.

I was not a runner when he first invited me out for the cross-country team; I was a tennis player/cheerleader. Coach Mac found out through my highschool transcript that I’d raced the mile at the Alabama state track meet, and thought I might want to “make some nice friends” (exact words) because I had just moved to town. He also knew my 5:32 mile as a 10th-grader wasn’t half bad. I am still making nice friends from this amazing sport, but you can’t imagine how crucial it was to a 16 year-old - who’d just moved half-way across the country - to find a family of runner-friends.

In August, I traveled back to Charlotte for the masters’ track nationals and, last-minute, I e-mailed Coach Mac to invite him to the race. I wanted him to meet my daughters; rather, I wanted them to meet him. Of course, Coach Mac showed up, track-side, having not aged a bit, I thought, and when I introduced him to Sarah Jane, Rosie, and Lizzie I said, “Coach Mac. is the reason I got a full scholarship to college - which is true - but what I didn’t say, what is nearly impossible to articulate, is that Coach Mac. is the reason I am still running today and still trying and still believing and still coaching and still loving. He “saved” me from cynicism and despair and faithlessness. He gave me the gift of running for life!

“What a little thing it takes to save you or to lose you.”

Little thing?
Nope. It’s huge.
Thank you, Coach Mac!!