we are family
I had a thought this morning about why some people choose running for life. It’s as if all the orphans of the world gravitate toward the family of runners. I didn’t become a “serious” runner until high school and it is no coincidence that I had just transferred schools, had no friends, and was extremely rebellious (inwardly, that is; I still made straight A’s and kissed my parents good-night every night). I was on the prowl for a renegade group.
I was no innocent like Oliver and my high school coach was certainly no Fagin, but life on the East meck. Eagles high school cross-country team was eerily like that of the street urchins in Oliver Twist. We runners would do anything for our coach and “the team” was always together - staying late after practice, talking … stalling, becasue we didn’t want to leave “home.”
This orphan mentality continued on in college for me, made laughingly evident when a teammate commented on my mom and dad showing up for XC regionals my senior year, “I never thought of you as having parents.”
I hate to think of my own children disowning me thus. But it’s natural for everyone to seek out their own kind. My oldest girl is already showing her renegade colors - craving life after school with other theater rapscallions. When her drama teacher yells at them, “It’s a good thing, ” says Sarah Jane, “because it means she cares.” If only moms could receive such a dispensation!
I continue to seek out my orphan runner family. My trailheads brothers, my seejanerun sisters, my CC Pacers children … my internet cousins … all keep me coming home to running.
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Corollary to this, and in agreement: running friends are one of the best kinds of friends. Especially in adulthood, where making close new friends seems harder than in high school and college. With running friends one can share an intense, physical experience, difficult goals, and good stories and memories, but all within well prescribed boundaries so the other parts of life (work, family, making dinner) are not obliterated. It’s a swell mental health additive, and a good balm for loneliness.
( . . . Note: we’re having a heat wave here too, so I’m websurfacing tonight until it cools down — hence two comments in one day; I promise not to clog things up daily). -Yrs, E
Comment by Eric — 7/23/2006 @ 1:20 am
Joan, as usual, right on the pulse. I also think that runners have a certain individuality that directs them towards this activity. I avoided “standard” team sports in my youth and early adulthood. Growing up in Montreal, you were almost obligated by law to play ice hockey. I preferred shinny, which is played in outdoor rinks, sides were picked from whoever was there, people left, others came. The beauty was that no one told you how to play, when to stop, no one yelled at you, and any expectations were only your own. You did contribute to the “team” by helping to clean the ice before playing. As an adult, I tried to play team basketball, which in my case consisted of riding the bench unless we led by 40 points and the coach would insert me the last 2 minutes. I did not want to particpate in a sport where I did not participate, and the play factor was lost in the pursuit of “winning” Thats why I love to run, I can go when I want, where I want, as slow or as fast as I want. This is my play time. I also saw this individuality insofar as I was mostly immune to peer pressure, I did not need to fit in.
Comment by George (Canada) — 7/25/2006 @ 6:07 am
Oooh, I love the idea of contributing by cleaning the ice before playing! How beautifully communal.
Comment by Joan — 7/25/2006 @ 8:57 am