Comments on: going berserk

By: Fat Charlie the Archangel

Fat Charlie the Archangel — Mon, 22 May 2006 19:37:56 +0000

I resent the remarks about being “fast enough to be arrogant”. I’m arrogant as heck, and I don’t have to be fast to be that way

…but it really is possible that he simply doesn’t know that what he’s doing isn’t the way to do things. My father never participated in any of my “sports” with me, so I haven’t had a clue how it was done when my kids have participated. My reaction was to sort of hide in the crowd as much as possible, because of my own awareness of my arrogance. Maybe this guy is the scared-shy type, and he’s just trying to overcome that to be the best dad that he can be.

We’ve all got blind sides.

By: mis_nomer

mis_nomer — Mon, 22 May 2006 04:08:23 +0000

Stupid man. I hope he trips and falls and breaks his haughty nose.

By: Dave C.

Dave C. — Sat, 20 May 2006 13:06:11 +0000

Joan, I agree completely that he is not fast enough to be arrogant. My comment was just to note that unfortunately Scooter’s suggestion won’t work in this particular case. Those of us whose PRs are distant memories have to come to terms with no longer being able to summon up the speed of old. By coincidence I came across a related article posted today — different sport (cricket) but the same general issue:

http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/cricinfomagazine/content/story/247931.html

Dave C.
Who has never been fast enough (or good enough at anything at all) to be arrogant.

By: Joan

Joan — Sat, 20 May 2006 02:03:07 +0000

Dave C.
I just searched for a race result from Big Bird. Last year in a race where he beat me head-to-head, he was only 34 seconds faster … Big Bird - aged 32. Me - 43. Now, let’s get real here. When I was 32, my PR was 15:24. This guy ran 17:38 in HIS PRIME.
He is not fast enough to be so arrogant.

By: kemibe

kemibe — Sat, 20 May 2006 01:16:25 +0000

I echo JOCKO’s observation — the dad will likely always be an overbearing, little-league-style foghorn no matter what his kids participate in, but the young ‘uns almost certainly will have been conditioned to associate running with static by the time they’re in their teens. Running with — or even pacing — your children is one thing, but yapping at them to “…c’mon, BEAT that kid!” is pathognomonic for the sort of assholism that ultimately drives kids to hate competitive sports, even if some of them manage to hide this for a while.

What sucks from the perspective of a youth coach is that it’s all too easy to let one or two bad-egg parents spoil the experience. I was extremely lucky when coaching high-school track and cross-country in that the parents were universaly supportive (in this instance it didn’t hurt that, almost to a one, they were also utterly clueless when it came to all things running.) The one incident that chapped my hide was having a cadre of girls boycott a Thursday practice because it was prom day and they wanted to spend at least five hours on their hair, and then also refuse to show up at 6:30 that morning when I rescheduled the workout (the last before champsionship season) to accommodate these girls and their equally whiny mothers. Oh well, these girls were perennial slackers anyway and ran about 16:00 for the 3200, so it was no big deal. And I digress. Actually I digressed long ago. Oh well, at least that’s off my chest after five full years.

By: Dave C.

Dave C. — Fri, 19 May 2006 23:47:33 +0000

In response to Scooter: This guy happens to be faster than Joan currently is. In at least a couple of races he has finished far enough ahead of her that she obviously hasn’t noticed him.

By: George Muenz

George Muenz — Fri, 19 May 2006 21:54:34 +0000

Joan, we have all seen clueless parents, they are just like regular people I do wonder however, if you might not have taken him aside and discussed it with him. Many times, people do things and are unaware that they are or of the implications. Now, there is a very good chance that this person would not have appreciated your comments and would take offence, but you would at least have given him the benefit of the doubt.

By: Scooter

Scooter — Fri, 19 May 2006 17:32:24 +0000

Joan, I fear being that parent. My son, who’s 7 runs on the team I coach. I know I treat him a bit differently, mostly a higher expectation thing. I don’t run with him on the track, though I’ll shout instructions, etc. When he runs a road race (he’s done a few 5K’s - by his choice), either my wife or I run with him for safety/confidence reasons…I’m not yet comfortable to let him be out of sight in an uncontrolled environment for a long while.

But the pacing issue could be either of two things: a) either the guy is trying to stroke his own ego - and if you have a fairly strong 12 year-old boy, you can probably put an end to that. Just invite him to run a time trial with the kids - 2 miles would probably be best and let the kid beat him, the alternative would be for you to do it yourself, if it is the ego thing, I predict an injury appearing. Few guys with ego trouble will let themselves get beaten by “a girl.” (This approach will be especially effective if he doesn’t know your history - i.e. he sees you as “some woman who coaches”, not an Olympian.)
b) cite the USATF pacing rule, and tell him that he and his child needs to abide by it in practice so he won’t find himself “lost without Dad” in the racing environment.

By: Joan

Joan — Fri, 19 May 2006 12:31:59 +0000

Good point, Steve.
There’s nothing more powerful than, “Dad, you’re embarrassing me. Get off the track!”

By: Steve Sherlock

Steve Sherlock — Fri, 19 May 2006 12:20:11 +0000

Nice move, Joan. He doesn’t get it.

Maybe the other kids will pass the word along to his kids. That kind of peer advice can work wonders. How he’ll deal with the feedback from his kids could be interesting.

If not, leading by example, continuing to politely get him to toe the line, and providing the reinforcement to all the kids as you were doing will be the best thing to do.

Good luck! Stay with it, you on the right track!