songs of experience

I just got off the phone with my sister. I was telling her how much I was craving some “me” time after having been a stay-at-home mom all these years (we can’t even go to the potty alone!) and my childless, unmarried sister groaned, “Oh, God, all I’ve had is me time my whole life!” Yes, yes, the grass is always greener … but her comment got me to thinking about the balance we all need in our lives. I think we need equal parts of me, he/she, we, and Thee time.

me time: This is that time - outside of work - where we get to do what we want, alone. It could be anything from reading at a coffee shop to kayaking at sunrise to shape-note singing (one of my favorite “me time” treats). Unfortunately, our consumer-oriented culture has turned me time into a lifetime pursuit because, let’s face it, single people buy more stuff.

he/she time: This is the time we focus on one person (one-on-one time) with a lover or spouse or friend. It’s a bit like me time X 2 - also a prime target for advertisers (week-end getaways for two, fancy restaurants, two-seater sports cars, etc). It takes effort and scheduling to keep the one-on-one communication going, so its easy to see why marriages and friendships fail if one party is unaware of the need for he/she time in the balance of life we’re all trying to reach.

we time: This could be family time or community time. All the books say familes should spend at least one meal a day together to stay connected. This is a we-time philosophy. Making a dash through Wendy’s drive-through and chatting with your children in the rearview window in between cell phonecalls doesn’t count! At the end of a long summer of solo mileage (or over winter break), I have always looked so forward to returning to my running team (community we-time). It is no different for me today, at age 43, as I am getting ready to start-up another season of seejanerun with my running sisters.

Thee time: Okay, here’s the one that I hesitate to mention b/c it is really un-PC to talk about one’s faith, but I must have Thee-time/ God-time in my life to feel like a whole person. I imagine our society dismisses this need because going to church or temple or the mosque doesn’t translate into big bucks for big business (well, aside from the “business” of religion, but that’s not another blog entry). Luckily for me, running alone serves as me-time and Thee-time. Every so often (oddly enough, on Sundays) you might catch me running along the cross-country course at sunset with both arms raised up to heaven. Thank-you, God.